Phobias - Somniphobia

Somniphobia -</b>
the fear of sleep

The incessant clacking of keys on a computer’s keyboard filled the room, and though the owner of the fingers that slammed down onto the letters attempted to keep the noise down as to let the man beside him on the bed sleep, it was utterly pointless.

No matter how hard he tried, as long as he was awake, so would his significant other.

Incoherent mumbles passed the lips of the slumbering auburn haired teenager as he shifted underneath the blankets. His eyelids twitched and a yawn escaped his throat as he sat up drowsily, stretching to release the tension in his still-tired bones.

Click-clack. Click-clack. Click.

The keyboard’s buttons were hit even harder now, as if the man whose fingers pressed down on them was becoming increasingly impatient for some unknown reason. The large, dark eyes stared down at the screen in front of him, the various documents and programs reflecting on the retinas. Back hunched, breathing steady, and spindly hands hovering over the machine, the muddled black haired man whispered into the air.

“Go back to sleep, Light-kun.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Light sit up straight, rubbing his eyes childishly and shaking his head.

“I thought you were going to bed too, Ryuzaki.” His voice was muffled with tiredness as he called L by the nickname he had asked the Japanese task force to use, but Light still kept his tone of curiosity intact. Though it seemed like a stupid question after he voiced it, the detective worried him quite a bit. And even if he would never actually voice this unless some sort of odd situation called for it, Ryuzaki still frightened him at times. The pressure of him being the world renowned crime solver “L”, the entire Kira case…

“I do not sleep, Light-kun. But you do, and you should be doing just that.” L’s voice was forcibly calm, but the exhaustion – whether emotional or physical or perhaps both, Light could not tell – was evident. “Please…” he added as an afterthought, placing his thumb to his lips thoughtfully without taking his eyes off the screen.

“Every human needs some sort of rest,” Light argued, “and who knows whether all of these all-nighters will affect your ability to work?”

L squinted and faced the auburn-haired boy. “I’ve been able to go weeks without sleep fine before. There should be no difference now and there never will be.”

His sudden show of anger was surprising and only increased Light’s wonderment. The detective never showed any sort of emotion unless completely necessary, and anger or frustration was rare, if not absolutely missing from L’s mind. Light shook his head slightly and put a nearly trembling hand on the insomniac’s shoulder, rubbing the thin white fabric softly.

L’s eyes drooped a bit before opening even wider, grumbling incoherently and shrugging off Light. His generally robotic personality had disappeared now, emotions breaking down the barriers of his mind and causing a ruckus.

But then Light noticed something. L had been fine before the topic of slumbering had been brought up. Was it because the great investigator was terrified? That was preposterous to even theorize, yet the way his body had tensed and how the calm, impassive illusion had been thrown violently out the window had just made it not completely impossible.

Just kind of stupid to think about…

“Light-kun, please go back to sleep. Fretting over meaningless distractions will not be beneficial to your health.” L’s usual monotone voice sounded almost exasperated.

“I’m not sleeping until I know that you’re going to bed as well,” Light replied stubbornly. This fear – there was honestly no other word to describe it – needed to be annihilated. It was just like Light had said before: No human being could survive without sleep, and the great L was no exception.

The detective sighed softly, closing his laptop and turning to stare at Light. Now that the artificial light source had been shut off, the bedroom was thrown into the shadows, the only illumination being pale slivers of moonlight peeking behind the curtains and falling on the two males.

“What’s wrong, Ryuzaki? I want the truth.” The student was edging dangerously close to the term “begging”, and he was surprisingly aware of that, but he did not care.

The first step to conquering a fear is to admit that you have one, the student thought.

A pregnant pause overtook the pair as L closed his eyes and exhaled noisily.

“C’mon Ryuzaki,” whispered Light, both hands on the older man’s shoulders, “don’t you trust me?”

“It is not a matter of trust, Light,” L muttered, “It’s a matter of pride and the fact that I do not wish to lose it.” His composure was becoming normal once more, but it was perfectly clear that that was an illusion at the moment; L was obviously attempting to hide from Light.

“Are you afraid?” Light inquired boldly. And when L gave the slightest indication that he was indeed scared of something, the auburn haired boy inched nearer to the sleuth, their faces now inches apart. “What about it makes you frightened?” The softness of his voice astounded even him.

L’s eyes twitched underneath his eyelids, scrunching together tighter than ever, as if holding back demons and monsters that he did not wish for Light to see. After what seemed like a lifetime, the detective opened his mouth to speak, his voice barely a whisper.

It was time for L to bite the bullet.

“I have… always hated it. Nightmares, hopelessness, and… I just dislike it. When I do… sleep, it is always against my will and only for a couple of hours. It constricts me, Light-kun, and I can never stand it. It is the only time when I feel… powerless.”

Without a second thought, lips met lips in the only thing that Light could think of as a response. It wasn’t often that Light had nothing to say, but L couldn’t help but chuckle inwardly at the sudden desperation to get the last word in. Though, once the genius thought about it, this wasn’t exactly the “last word”, but he disregarded the technicality of it all.

For this rare moment, they were both in bliss.

Deepening the kiss, the two tongues battled for dominance against one another. Light’s fingers latched on to the raven locks of L’s, almost like a silent agreement never to let go, no matter what the cost or consequences. The older one pulled the younger closer, yearning and pleading for protection from the fairy tale villains that would plague him should he fall into the subconscious.

The blend of intimacy died down when Light pulled away a bit, removing his hands from L’s hair only to fall down to the white shirt clad back, arms tightening into a comforting embrace.

“Even if the nightmares come, Ryuzaki, I’ll still be here.” L relaxed even more against him, and Light could have sworn he heard a deep sigh emit from the investigator’s throat. “I’ll chase the monsters away and powerless or not, you’ll get through the night now.”

The two lay down, L leaning on Light as the pillows propped them up. The insomniac’s eyes drooped sleepily and he finally allowed them to, not bothering to fight. For Light’s arm was wrapped tenderly around his slender waist, not willing to let go for a mere second. That was the only security blanket that L needed really.

A small smile appeared as a shadow on the L’s lips as he finally fell asleep.